The finer details
by Loric Kane
Summary: We all want to be a part of something that Earth than cannot provide. Some of us strive to make it so, some of us just accept reality. But we , here on Fanfiction prefer to write ourselves into a world that does have what we strive for. The thing is, we tend to skip out on the finer details. (Self insertion parody, requires some knowhow of science...or google)


**Hi ya! Loric Kane is back!**

**Ya know, I kinda did this for fun. **

**After a long pause from writing I wanted to write something to get my already pathetic comedic mind back into the game. So really, this short story is just a brain storm of a sort. So yea. **

**A quick disclaimer, this fic is not meant to offend. It uses a lot of generalisations but if you happen to be offended by this then think of it as something to fix in your own writing.**

**Anyway, here you go!**

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The finer details

By Loric Kane

John Smith was your typical eighteen year old, prodigal martial artist with stunning looks and a brain that could out match anyone. Some would say he had it all. But in fact he was very bored with this world. He lived a meaningless existence, waiting for the new Call of duty X to come out for the Play station Omega, eating the same old lamb roast with mashed potatoes drowned with gravy and sleeping in a nice warm bed.

He wanted something more with this life, ya know?

Little did he know, he was about to get just what he asked for.

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**Scenario one**

For some odd reason John Smith found himself blinded by a flash of light right as he was about to destroy that smug twelve year old noob on League of legends. At first he was extremely pissed that something had interrupted him from getting a Pentakill but that turned into confusion as soon as he felt his feet touch solid stone. Blinking the blindness away he looked around and saw that he stood in the middle of a stone ruin.

He instantly recognised the place.

"Hey! I know this place!" He exclaimed "This is the Emerald forest from RWBY!"

John Smith had recently got into RWBY a few days before he was transported into said universe. The writing sucked and the graphics of the first season could have been better, but the action was balls-to-the-walls awesome! He was instantly entranced by abilities of the cool Huntsmen and their sick weapons. Now but now he was here! In the RWBY universe! Get on your knees and start praying because watch out world! John Smith is gonna tak-

John, in his excitement had unfortunately didn't notice his muscles losing their energy and his lungs contract violently. Dropping to his knees and finally to the floor, John Smith had come to realise that he was going to die right before his adventure even began

**Cause of death: Oxygen deprivation**

**Explanation: Who knows what creatures from another universe, or another planet for that matter, breaths?**

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**Scenario two**

Brushing the dust off his pants, John Smith saw a shining brown crystal in the corner of his eyes. Was that what he thought it was?

Running up to the crystal John grabbed hold of it and yanked it out of the ground. Marvelling at the crystal in his hands he couldn't help but imagine the possibilities that came with this crystalline objects. I mean just before he left his world Rooster Teeth released a video describing how Dust could be combined together to make newer forms of Dust. Maybe he could go all Naruto on it and combine all of it to make one of those OP balls Kagura and Naruto have.

Hehehe. Dust is so awesome.

…He won't be thinking that in the next five to ten years.

**Cause of death: Cancer**

**Explanation: I mean come on! Dust so far looks like a very volatile and unstable…Element? Is it an element? Anyway, it could give of radiation so yea…cancer**

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**Scenario three**

Kneeling down next to a carcass of a dear he had just killed John took out a knife he just had on him at the time of entering this world and started to gut the dead animal for some of that fresh meat. As soon as he got the meat he started a fire and cooked it perfectly, as he was also a self-proclaimed master cook. Looking at the half burnt meat, John was somewhat glad that he gave up his life of comfort, luxury and first world problems for hunger, lack of shelter and third world problems.

Yip, very glad indeed.

He bit down on the meat and was dead in a minute

**Cause of death: Food poisoning**

**Explanation: Who knows what the chemical makeup of the creatures of Remnant is and if Humans can eat it**

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**Scenario four**

John became fish paste of the curb. The street cleaner was confused on how a red a splatter got there

**Cause of death: Gravity**

**Explanation: Could be stronger and the people of Remnant could have just evolved to adjust to their world, hence our human bodies would crumble**

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**Scenario five**

John coughed.

**Cause of death: Introduction of alien micro organisms**

**Explanation: We evolved to survive on earth. Not on some other place**

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**Scenario six**

John appeared in a flash of blue. He stepped on an ant. The universe then proceeded to kill itself.

**Cause of death: The grandfather paradox**

**Explanation: If the universe was a sentient thing, then it would probably commit suicide if this were to happen**

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**Scenario seven**

In a flash of blue, John smith appeared. In a flash of red, his head exploded.

**Cause of death: Vacuum of space**

**Explanation: Do I need to explain? The universe is huge. So to be randomly transported somewhere does not mean you would end up on a planet…The margin of error is incredibly huge**

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**Scenario eight**

In a flash of blue, John Smith appeared in Remnant. In a flash of white, a mushroom cloud formed.

**Cause of death: Antimatter + Matter = boom**

**Explanation: Remnant could be in a universe that is made up of matter opposite ours and they would be none the wiser. Who knows.**

**Calculation: Assuming that the weight of an average 18 year old boy is 70kg, and I'm being generous here, then using the equation E=MC^2 we can calculate the energy of the explosion**

**70Kg-70000g of normal matter. Times this by two as the total matter includes the Antimatter as well, bringing the grand total to 1400000g**

**C= 299 792 458 m / s**

**E=1400000(299 792 458)^2**

**E=1,258,257,250,000,000,000 joules **

**This, according to my calculations is 1,879,566,877 times stronger than little boy, the bomb dropped on Hiroshima…So yea. This is extinction level shit right here.**

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**Do correct me if my calculations are wrong. I'm only fourteen, September the eight is my birthday, so I'm not that smart compared to some of you people I'm sure. **

**Other then that, there is not much to say.**

**So until next time, this is Loric kane**

**Signing out**

**Ja Ne!**


End file.
